Visiting Family

This weekend I’ll be traveling to another state to visit with my mom. While I’m looking forward to seeing her & spending time together, it brings up three significant stress points as well.

1. The travel process itself
2. Her RA situation
3. My RA – especially relevant to the tasks she needs my help with

I’ll be traveling alone as I typically do for visits to see Mom. Keeping luggage light and easy to manage should help. Even so, I always check my bag so I have less to wrangle during layovers and airport navigation. And it turns out my first day of travel will be a 11-12 hour process. It’s mostly a very long layover, but airports just aren’t very comfortable after a couple of hours. Honestly, just the length of the day is daunting. Thankfully the trip home is more direct and shorter in duration – because by then I am sure to be tired!

I am quite comfortable in my own yummy memory-foam bed. Yet this trip will include two separate guest room beds of undetermined comfort/discomfort. Hoping there will be lots of pillows available so I can prop myself into a comfy position on my back. Side sleeping is still problematic due to shoulder flare issues. But hey, at least I don’t have to factor sharing the bed with hubby into the equation! ;->

My mom has RA that has gone virtually untreated medically due to her religious beliefs. She’s had some type of RA-related symptoms for nearly 10 years, but likely has had the disease for much longer. Her hips, feet and knees are so damaged that she’s now wheelchair bound. Other joints are so damaged that at 69 she’s dependent on nursing care for most of her daily functions.

I can’t begin to describe how difficult it is to see Mom like this. I just don’t know what the next RA-related issues will be for her, but they are bound to be uncomfortable and scary. And that’s probably a massive understatement.

I have chosen not to tell her about my RA diagnosis. I’m not sure how much longer I will keep her in the dark, but for now the choice makes sense to me. I am doing well with my various medications, and perhaps she won’t notice for a long time.

On the other hand, the list of tasks grows longer and longer as we approach the visit. I don’t really slow down or stop and rest enough. And on my last visit the pain levels skyrocketed and I hardly slept at the end of the trip. Since then I have learned to take better care of myself, so I just need to stay strong enough to make sure I slow down to rest during the day. I am still struggling with this at home … so who knows how it will go when I’m with Mom.

Maybe I’m just a big whiner … because in the big scheme of things I’m still doing a lot and mostly pain-free. But every day I still only get so many spoons, and traveling sure changes how they get used. Thanks for listening!

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