Uninsurable …

That’s the word rolling around in my head today … along with a wicked sinus infection. (Whoever says that stress doesn’t make us more susceptible to illness is wrong!) So because I am hurting, maybe the word hurts me a little more than it should. It also hurts because I’m the one in the family who has always been especially conscious of making the healthiest possible choices. And yet that’s what we were told yesterday. I am uninsurable. Truth is I knew this was the case. Hubs was in denial, and wouldn’t believe me … but now we know for sure that it’s true.

Why does this matter? I mean, don’t we have jobs that give us health care? Well actually, no we don’t. I am self-employed, and not really interested in closing down my thriving business even if I thought I could get a job in my 10-years-ago field of expertise. And the industry I currently work in isn’t known for providing benefits – most people working for someone else are independent contractors. And my husband joined the ranks of unemployment in April. He’s been searching for another position diligently, but it’s been a struggle (and that’s a whole other blog post!). So if he doesn’t find something and start working within the next few weeks, we will be uninsured starting in January 2013 when our COBRA runs out.

Because I know you’re wondering, we have a state-sponsored COBRA plan instead of the Federal COBRA. His last employer was too small to be required to offer the Federal 18-month plan. And frankly, we are lucky to have this at all. All $1500 per month of it … ugh.

Knowing all this, we’ve been doing some research and applying for individual plans. The insurance company will call Hubs and ask him a lot of questions about his medical history. But they don’t want to interview me. He kept saying “it’s because you told them what they need to know …” And I reply, “Yes, that I have RA and they know they are going to deny me.” And he kept floating on that river in Egypt .. da Nile.

Then Tuesday night a friend (who also has a pre-existing condition) gave us the name of her insurance broker. It’s the conversation with him that put “uninsurable” on the table. He says there’s a plan with “guaranteed acceptance” that will take me. But will we be able to afford it? Will the job interview Hubs has next week pan out for us? What comes next …?? These are pins and needles I can do without … thank you very much. So cross your fingers for me and all the other uninsurable people out there.

<<political warning>> And please please please remember that voting for state and national politicians who support Affordable Health Care is one of the ways you can do something good for those of us with uninsurable illnesses we did nothing to cause based on our lifestyle.

 

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The Importance of Good Venipuncture

This is a short, but vital, post. If you’re anything like me, you’ve had more than your lifetime’s share of needle sticks. Chronic pain / illness patients get a lot of blood drawn, right? Well, I’ve been getting blood drawn at my family practice doc’s office for the last few years. But the last time one of their nurses drew my blood, I had a 3″ x 2″ bruise AND a huge lump! If that wasn’t enough, I actually had a needle scratch near the site too. Clearly, this nurse was NOT skilled at venipuncture. And the lump? It was there because she not only punctured my vein as she entered, but then kept on going and punctured the other side of the vein too.

This was of course completely unacceptable. I called the doc’s office to let them know (kindly) that this particular nurse had been sorely lacking in skills. And remind them that it’s especially unacceptable on a patient who is immunosuppressed. They did apologize, and suggested that I request a different nurse the next time. Yup … you bet!

Instead, I decided to do what I had done some years ago. I decided to make friends with some people who do nothing but venipuncture – at a local diagnostic lab location. I chose Quest Diagnostics because they had been processing the blood from the doctor anyway. So I assumed (rightly) that my health insurance would cover that lab. And let me tell you, this was the right choice!

The lab tech was fantastic! Friendly, professional, no waiting, and most of all … really, really skilled at venipuncture. The bruise is only the size of a pencil eraser, if that! Minimal pain and maximum patient satisfaction. Definitely worth the switch!

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When everything is going too well …

I haven’t posted since May – mostly because life has been good and I’ve been busy. I did have an experience with the evil skin infection cellulitis, which thankfully resolved itself pretty quickly. But mostly the last few months have been full of big business decisions and happy family times.

Poor car, poor me ...

Until this morning … I was returning home after a lovely yoga class and was in a car accident. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst, it was about a 3 to 4. NOT what I was hoping for from my day. My car is really a mess thanks to the winch on the other guy’s truck. It’s safe in the towing company’s storage lot for now while I wait for the adjuster to assess the situation. And I am sitting in bed … waiting to hear if I broke any ribs. Or really to find out if my seatbelt broke any of my ribs!

The accident happened in the middle of a string of rainy days, which were already making more achey than normal. Now I am having trouble moving in some directions with this rib pain. Strangely, there’s no bruising on the outside. It’s the perfect example of “But You Don’t Look Sick.”

Interestingly, this accident reminds me how closely connected my core muscles are to my ribs. The hardest part of this pain is what happens when I try to lie down or rise back up from horizontal. I just can’t access my core muscles to help me. But I’m grateful for strong legs and arms to help support what my core can’t. Now I have to be careful not to strain those joints and muscles.

As I said to the x-ray tech, “I feel like a feeble old lady.” And as my spoonie peeps know, we all have been there and we don’t like it at all!

And here’s the rest of the challenge. Much of my ability to see massage therapy clients depends on my ability to move freely. For the last eight years I’ve been able to work pretty darn consistently even with RA, but I cancelled all of my clients today. It’s been quite some time since I’ve had to do that. And as a small business person, I don’t have paid vacation or sick time. So I’m pulling out all the stops to get better soon!

One of the things I always tell my clients is that the MOST important time to eat healthy food is when your body is trying to heal. Your body needs all the fuel for its building blocks to rebuild the injured tissue … and this doesn’t come from cheeseburgers and french fries. It comes from fresh veggies, whole fruits and some lean protein. So although my mom suggested hot cocoa (and I may do that!), I am also making sure I eat super healthy. In fact once I made it back home, I made myself a green smoothie right away. Some part of the reason was to have food in my stomach to calm my nerves. Another part was to get food in my stomach to take my meds. And then the general need to feed myself the healing food!

Send me some prayers and healing thoughts if you would … and I’ll really really try to get back here and update you on my progress. Thanks friends!

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I bought turtlenecks today!

I bought three new turtlenecks today. Except for one purchased last year with outdoor activities in mind, these are the first turtlenecks I’ve wanted or been able to wear in 7 years.

So who cares and what does this have to do with RA? Well, about 7 years ago I noticed that entire body temperature had increased a few degrees. Not hot flash style increases – I’m too young still & this was 24/7/365 change. I was more likely to have a tank top on under a sweater than a turtleneck.

The change seemed permanent and I donated or pitched my turtleneck “collection” which had been extensive. But as fall and winter have approached this year, I am cold. Not just chilly on the edges, but cold cold cold.

My theory is that about 7 years ago RA started to generate subtle inflammatory changes. They were inflammatory enough to raise my body temperature. Now that I am taking the bundle of RA medicines and my disease has become better controlled, the inflammation has lowered. It just doesn’t seem to be heating me up any more.

I’ve been thinking that RA was busy building inside me much earlier than I realized and this is also a bit more confirmation.

So I’ll wear and enjoy these turtlenecks — at least until I start hot flashing in a few years!!

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So Unsatisfying

Sometimes I tell someone I have RA and it doesn’t even register on their face. Like I just told them I have a cold or silver/gray hair. Colds go away in 10 days (if we’re not immune suppressed), but RA is forever.

It’s just frustrating … so I thought I’d share with you.  Even though you didn’t ask.

I wish I could tell the person that the easiest response is, “So what does that mean for you?” They don’t have to know anything about RA to ask me that. And I can choose how much I tell them … which depends on mood and the “need to know” factors.

Phew. Got that of my chest. Thanks for listening.

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Choosing both medical and integrative approaches

As a holistic health coach, I am blessed to be part of a large and vibrant community of progressive-thinking folks. I have learned a tremendous amount about nutrition and ultimately about wellness from my training and experience. In fact, it’s this kind of naturally-based healing/health that I have focused on my whole life.

Many years ago I was a leader for Weight Watchers … my first experience with “diet” and nutrition programs. I’ve done yoga for years, and spent a lot of time at gyms working out before that. I’ve had acupuncture. I’ve trained in Reiki and receive it regularly. I’ve received other types of energy healing regularly for years. I’m a massage therapist who depends mightily on a weekly massage (and have for 6+ years). I love having green smoothies and shopping at my local farmers’ markets. I believe in the power of prayer. And for the most part, I’ve always tried a lot of natural healing methods before turning to medical care.

And despite all this stuff … the RA symptoms started. Reiki and massage didn’t help (although they certainly didn’t make anything worse). I tried to keep eating healthy, but my ability to exercise became severely limited. I had to cut my work schedule back by 20% to keep the incredible pain in my hands at bay. Symptoms didn’t get better when I wasn’t working either. Weight gain ensued … and it was all depressing. I hung in there with the natural healing methods as best I could, but I knew it wasn’t going to be enough. I’d reached a fork in the road.

Choose left or right?

It was time to pursue medical diagnosis and treatment. You’ve read about that process here on the blog, so I won’t repeat it. But let me summarize the results: I feel a thousand percent better! Practically my old self. I continue to pursue all my natural health and wellness methods, which support the medical process that keeps me going.

What I discovered is that it isn’t a fork in the road, but a new path. I don’t have to give up the things that have always helped me. I don’t have to feel guilty about getting the medical treatment I need to be well. In fact, my rheumatologist has been pretty darn impressed with my incredibly low inflammation levels. The other RA indicators are still positive, but my liver is processing the meds in the healthy way and my overall symptoms feel mostly under control.

So for those who might judge because I’ve chosen to integrate these (sometimes opposing) paths … take a walk in my shoes before you tell me I’ve done myself wrong. And remember, I wear mostly “sensible” shoes now … not the beautiful higher heels of my youth. So it may not be as easy or much fun to be in my shoes … but I’m happy here. Isn’t that what life is all about?

**This blog post is part of a larger Blog Carnival organized by Rheumatoid Arthritis Warrior, Kelly Young. Please visit the other posts as well … this carnival’s topic is “Resistance to Rheumatology Treatment”**

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