Who stole my body?

When I turned 40 my aunt told me that my body would never be the same again. That it would change unexpectedly and often. That everything I thought I had figured out would become wrong. That these adjustments would keep happening every year or so for the rest of my life. None of that information was easy to absorb or adjust to! And that was before the RA symptoms started!

Here’s an example of my “new body.” This morning my pain alarm woke me up. Truthfully, it woke me twice (at least) last night and then once after it was light outside. I’d just like to know who installed this alarm. How do I control it and could I even disable it? It’s bad enough to use an alarm clock to wake up every day, but having one inside my body stinks!

Another example is that lately my relationship to food has changed. I love delicious food. But I’ve been wondering why I find most food a lot less interesting. Maybe it comes from meds or maybe just from dealing with so many annoying issues related to RA all day. Sometimes I just don’t have the energy left to get excited about meals. Except possibly ice cream … LOL.

I have always been a bit ADD, hyper and not very good at sitting still. Now I treasure those days when I can fit a nap in during the day. I know that I have to take a break to sit down or lie down during many of my former “normal” tasks. I am grateful that I can still accomplish a lot, since I know a lot of RA patients aren’t able to do their everyday stuff. But it all just takes so much longer now.

Does anyone know where my body went … because I’d really like to trade this one for the other one. Okay? Thanks. Bye.

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MTX Month Five: Side Effects

This week it will be 5 months since I started taking methotrexate. I’m grateful to say that my overwhelming experience has been positive. The anticipated post-medication nausea, headaches, and exhaustion have been minimal. And my body’s overall response to the medication has been positive. I find myself with almsot “normal” energy on many days, which has been fabulous for my spirits, my life and my business.

But … and you know there’s always a “but” … I do have one side effect that is a bit troublesome. I think MTX is affecting my menstrual cycle. Now I’ve discussed this with both my GYN and my Rheumy, and they both say this cycle distruption is “normal” for a 45-year-old. But I didn’t have the slightest cycle disruption until 3 months ago. Nothing had changed in the last 8 years! So why, all of a “sudden,” am I experiencing complete menstrual chaos?

Everything I find about MTX and menstrual cycles says there is the possibility of disturbance or spotting. What I don’t know is whether it can induce complete menopause or if the effect is amenorrhea with hormones still present in some level. And again, it is frustrating to have the docs both saying … don’t worry, you’re 45 anyway. That seems like a lame excuse!

I know … I know … it IS a minor side effect in the big scheme of things. And it certainly isn’t significant enough for me to stop taking methotrexate. Plus I think of friends who have had emergency hysterectomies for a variety of dramatic reasons when they were younger than I am now. And it was all bound to happen eventually. But I kinda like estrogen … it helps with a lot of vital functions in my body. And I just wasn’t mentally prepared for this … thought I had about five years to wrap my brain around “the change.”

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